Strength, Not Shame: Breaking the Stigma Around ADHD in Our Communities

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As both a mom and a clinical mental health counseling intern at Oaks Family Care Center, I’ve walked through the confusing, overwhelming, and sometimes heartbreaking moments that come with raising or working with a child who struggles to focus, manage emotions, or feel like they truly fit in. I’ve also seen how powerful it is when a child begins to understand their brain—and feel understood by the people around them.

That’s why I decided to take part in a professional training series on ADHD through PESI. This journey has been deeply personal and incredibly eye-opening. My goal is to become the kind of counselor who not only knows the science, but also speaks the language of compassion—especially to families who are exhausted, misunderstood, and just looking for hope.

This training focuses on evidence-based, neurodiversity-affirming approaches to care. That means we’re learning not to “fix” a child with ADHD, but to understand them. To celebrate their strengths, support their challenges, and create a space where they don’t have to carry shame for being wired differently. And let’s be honest—how many of our kids have felt the sting of being told they’re too much, too loud, too distracted? I hope my own reflections and takeaways from this series can give you tangible tools and insights to help you and your child navigate life with ADHD. - Kimberly

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If you’re parenting a child with ADHD, you already know the journey can feel overwhelming at times. It’s easy to wonder if you’re doing something wrong or to feel the weight of judgment from others who don’t understand. But here’s the truth: ADHD isn’t a flaw or a failure; it’s simply a difference in how the brain works. And with the right support, your child can thrive.

In the sections below, we’ll talk through what ADHD really is, how stigma can shows up in Black, Brown, and other marginalized communities, and how to reframe the story with strength, faith, and hope.

1. “Something’s Different”—And That’s Okay

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is not a character flaw or a result of poor parenting. It’s a neurodevelopmental condition that affects how children regulate attention, behavior, and impulse control. The DSM-5 recognizes three primary presentations of ADHD: Inattentive, Hyperactive-Impulsive, and Combined.

Unfortunately, ADHD is often misunderstood in marginalized communities. A child who struggles to complete homework or stay focused in class may be labeled as lazy, defiant, or poorly disciplined, especially if they are Black or Brown. This can delay diagnosis and access to supportive services.

Understanding that ADHD presents differently in each child is key. Girls, for example, may appear distracted or dreamy rather than disruptive. Without the hyperactivity commonly associated with boys, their struggles often go unnoticed. Education helps us recognize these signs early—and take meaningful action.

2. The Weight of Stigma in Black and Brown Communities

In many homes, especially in Black and other underserved communities, mental health challenges are rarely spoken about openly. Generations have grown up with the belief that “what happens in this house, stays in this house,” leading to silence and shame around ADHD and other diagnoses.

This stigma can carry serious consequences. Black boys with ADHD, for example, are far more likely to be disciplined or suspended at school than to receive treatment. According to research from the Journal of Attention Disorders, they are underdiagnosed and over-punished, caught in a system that often criminalizes instead of supports.

Parents may fear judgment from their own families, churches, or schools. But the truth is: ADHD is not a moral failure. It’s a neurological difference, and our kids deserve support, not shame.

3. Reframing the Narrative: Strength, Not Shame

ADHD can make certain tasks harder, but it also brings with it beautiful strengths: creativity, empathy, high energy, passion, and innovation. These children are often natural leaders, deep thinkers, and bold risk-takers. What they need is help learning how to channel those strengths.

Practical strategies that work:

• Establish predictable routines – Consistency reduces anxiety and builds structure.

• Chunk tasks into smaller steps – It helps children avoid overwhelm and feel success.

• Use praise purposefully – Catch them doing well, and name exactly what they did right.

• Integrate movement – Physical activity helps regulate energy and focus.

• Stay spiritually anchored – Remind your child, and yourself, of their God-given worth: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” (Psalm 139:14).

Empowering your child begins with understanding. Reframing ADHD as a difference —not a deficit — can shift the entire household dynamic from frustration to empowerment.

4. Faith and Hope in the Journey

You may be weary. You may feel like no one understands what you’re going through. But you’re not walking this road alone.

God sees your struggle. He sees your child -- not just the meltdowns or the messy grades, but the tender heart, the big potential, and the future He has planned. As it says in Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you… plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Let that promise carry you. You are planting seeds today that will grow in time. Healing, growth, and joy are possible.

5. You’re Not Alone

Parenting a child with ADHD isn’t easy, but it is deeply meaningful. You are not a failure. Your child is not broken. And there is a village of parents, professionals, and faith leaders standing beside you.

Let’s normalize ADHD in our communities by speaking openly, seeking knowledge, and walking in love. When we drop the shame and pick up the tools, we build a path forward not just for our children, but for generations to come.